He Lives In Me
by Riflow
Summary: I know Roxas would have wanted me to go on living my life. But why couldn't he understand? He was my life. -Roxas x Olette oneshot-


Author's Note: So, my first Kingdom Hearts fic! This is a Roxas/Olette pairing, and like I've already clarified, the last section is AU (because I know that Olette only knew Roxas in the simulated Twilight Town and not in the real one) so, yeah. Anyway, I hope ya'll like it :) It was written in my spare time so I'm sorry if it is quite rushed. Just written for fun!

Disclaimer: Me no own. All characters belong to Square Enix.

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><p>I knew a boy once.<p>

His name was Roxas.

He was quiet and withdrawn but so, so kind. He never really spoke much to anyone, but I was an exception. I remember that he used to sit with me, smiling, and just listening - he would comfort me when I was sad, give me his jacket when I was cold and kiss me under the mistletoe when nobody else had.

_"I couldn't think of what to get you for Christmas, Roxas."_

_"I already have the perfect gift. You. Nothing's more perfect than you."_

_That was one of the reasons I loved him so much._

One cold, rainy night, I remember walking along the dark streets of Twilight Town, under the cover of my umbrella. I felt sad. Normally I liked the rain, but only when I knew that everything was okay. That day, though, everything was not. I'd been searching for Roxas for he had not shown up at the Usual Spot for three days, nor had I seen him anywhere else. I'd went to his house, and because we were such good friends, he'd given me a copy of his house key so that I could let myself in whenever I wanted. He had my complete trust.

_That was one of the reasons I loved him so much._

I had noticed that his shoes were gone, so he must have been out somewhere. Thinking that I was just being paranoid, I shrugged it off and went home. Which brings us back to when I was walking in the rain through the Sandlot. Four days he had been gone and I was slowly sinking into a deep depression. It turned out that Roxas was classified as missing, Seifer had quite happily informed me.

As soon as I'd heard that, I broke down.

Roxas felt like my anchor. He kept me chained to this world, as I did with him; and the only one who could shift me was him. Sitting down on a bench, I began to cry, my tears camouflaged by the cold rain hitting and numbing my face. That eased the pain a little, but it did not stop me from crying his name and falling to my knees. I longed to be in his arms.

I heard him before I saw him. Splashing was coming from in front of me and through my blurry eyes, I saw feet, then the khaki trousers and then, even through the dark and tears, I saw Roxas looking down at me, holding out his hand for me to take. I did so, and slowly got up, staring into his deep, mesmerizing, sapphire eyes.

_"I'm sorry."_

Roxas could not say anything else after that, for his voice had been silenced by my lips smashing against his. His silk petals were wet and cold from the rain but that made the fire in my heart burn more vigorously as we stood there, soaking wet; we shivered in each other's arms.

A kiss in the rain. How cliqued.

I'd never known about true love until Roxas had first kissed me. I guess that, when we first met, I had some kind of attraction for him. But that only came to light when we shared a mistletoe kiss a year before. But as Roxas' arms wrapped around my waist, his lips in sync with mine like a passionate dance, both of us had finally realised that our friendship was merely just a ruse to cloak our true feelings for one another. The affection and happiness was almost palpable.

Eros: sacrificial, unconditional love.

We pulled away and both smiled, our noses touching. Taking my hand, Roxas told me everything. Where he had been, why he had gone, and why he had come back.

_"I came back for you, Olette."_

_"Is this real, Roxas? Is this pretend?"_

_"I'll take that chance."_

_"Until the end."_

Roxas always kept promises, and I knew - just knew - that he wasn't going to break this one.

_That was one of the reasons I loved him so much._

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><p>Roxas and I were inseperable. We'd go everywhere together, like we did before, except as a couple. There was a big difference between those two. One: we wouldn't stop staring at each other, and weren't quick to turn away when the other noticed. Two: we wouldn't stop hugging. Having a hug from Roxas was like coming inside to a cup of hot chocolate after a cold afternoon in the freezing snow. And three: he was still my best friend. Hayner always told me that being Roxas' girlfriend would totally ruin our friendship but I proved him wrong!<p>

I went around to Roxas' house to tell him the amusing conversation me and Hayner had when I noticed that his front door was open but inside, there was no Roxas. He wasn't at the Sandlot, he wasn't at Sunset Hill and he wasn't at the Clock Tower. I searched high and low for the blonde but couldn't find him anywhere.

Roxas had disappeared.

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><p><em>"Roxas!"<em>

I was frantic now. I was hopping over people and obstacles as I searched and searched for him. I was like a freaking Gazelle when I'm afraid and anxious and I was literally jumping over _cars _to get to the Clock Tower. I flew up the spiral stairs and skidded to a halt at the top, ignoring my mind that was telling me to take a breath. I let out a sob and sat down on the edge, putting my face in my hands.

_"H-he said he wouldn't leave me again. He b-broke his promise!"_ I stared up at the orange sunset. _"You broke your promise, Roxas!"_

It seemed as if time had halted as I turned to see a cloaked figure looming over me. Well, not really 'looming,' they were only a little taller as I stood up to face them. Their face was concealed and, being the rambunctious teen I was, I reached up to pull it down so that I could see their face. Gloved hands grabbed my wrists, refraining me from doing so. They shook their head.

_"Who are you?"_

_"Me? I'm not important."_

That voice...Could it be...?

I gasped, taking a step back. _"R...Roxas?"_

Sighing, they let go of my wrists and pulled their hood down. There, with those beautiful blue eyes, stood my best friend, my boyfriend, my reason for being...staring at me, emotionless. _"I wanted to see you one more time."_

_"Once more time? Are you moving house or something? I can come with you and we-"_

Roxas put a finger to my lips. _"Shh. I can't stay for much longer. Superior will punish me severely if he figures out my ulterior motives for coming here."_

_"Superior?"_ I asked, confused.

_"It's a long story,"_ he sighed._"Listen, Olette, I can't love you anymore. Not that I don't want to but I just...can't. I don't have a...heart anymore."_

I raised an eyebrow but giggled. _"How can you not have a heart? You'd be dead right now if you didn't."_

He took my hand and held it to his chest, staring into my eyes. I gasped. He was right. Roxas had no heartbeat. _"I can't feel...anything. And it kills me inside," _he let go of my hand, taking my face into both of his gloved ones. _"I loved you so much. And I want you to know that if I still...Oh, please don't cry..." _

I sobbed and the tears fell onto Roxas' hands. Why was he saying this? Was it some kind of joke? Because I wasn't finding it funny! _"Don't say things like that, Roxi..."_

A very faint smile twitched at his lips at his nickname that I had coined him with. _"If I still had a heart, we'd get married, and we'd move somewhere far away from here and have lots of happy...wonderful...children..."_

_"Roxas, please."_

"I'm so sorry, Olette. I wish that I could go back in time when I could've met you sooner."

I reached up and kissed him, trying to force him to love me again. Selfish, I know. But I couldn't lose him. Not again. I felt Roxas' arms wrap around me and he sighed into the kiss, closing his eyes, he gasped, feeling something warm run down his cheek. A single tear; he broke away. _"Because then, I'd know for certain that we'd be together forever."_

_"Wherever you're going, Roxas...please don't forget about me."_

Roxas smiled. _"How could I forget about the most beautiful and funniest girl I know?"_

I kissed him again. _"I love you, Roxas."_

He slowly began to fade away, into a dark portal, smiling slightly. _"I love you too, Olette. Together forever."_

I sighed sadly and looked up at the sky, smiling, I put my hands to my chest. I could have sworn that I felt a warmth spread through my body, numbing me, nestling in bottom of my heart. I was certain that it was Roxas...waiting...waiting for the day when I would meet with him again.

And that was not going to be a very long wait.

That was one of the reasons I loved him so much.

xXx

I can't look in a mirror anymore, or in the clear water of a stream or lake, for fear of seeing a familiar, smiling shadow stood behind me in my reflection. I don't speak much to anybody anymore, only really speaking very absolutely necessary. I know Roxas would have wanted me to go on living my life, But why couldn't he understand? He _was _my life.

_He lives in me._

I walk through town and stop at the Clock Tower sometimes, just for old times' sake. I swear that I can see two figures at the top, sat on the edge. One looked like they had very orange, spiky hair, and I could tell that from the bottom of the tower because it was so...splayed. I would smile madly, run to the top, only to cry when I realised that it was only my mind playing tricks on me; very mean tricks.

_He watches over me and everything I see._

_In my reflection._

I sigh as I walk out of my house, one week after I bid him farewell, and I begin to walk slowly to the Usual Spot, not really thinking about anything, I trip and land roughly on the floor. I'd gotten so clumsy - tripping over my own feet and getting my clothes caught on things. I guess that my brain had just switched off.

But I know that Roxas is out there somewhere. I sleep in his house sometimes, just to remember what it was like. When I lie in his bed in the early hours of the morning, clutching his t-shirt and I can sometimes feel someone stroking my hair, mumbling soothing things to me, only to disappear when I would stir.

In the end, I know that we will meet again.

_He lives in me._


End file.
